What happens in a non-traditional wedding ceremony?

There are so many reasons why it can feel challenging to put into words exactly what you want your wedding ceremony to look like, especially when you're hoping for something unique, personal and out of the box. Whether you're overloaded with ideas or starting from a blank slate, going from vision to execution involves really getting clear, not just on what you want the ceremony to look like, but what you want it to feel like - for you as a couple as well as for your family, friends and loved ones. When I'm working with younger couples, one of the things they often tell me is that they haven't really been to a lot of weddings and they're not sure what a non-traditional wedding ceremony might involve. They may know what they don't want - overt or formal religious references, strict gender roles, promises to honour and obey - but they can have a difficult time envisioning what to do instead. Sometimes just talking it through with someone experienced and knowledgable can help to imagine something that can otherwise feel pretty abstract and nebulous without a bit of guidance. On the other hand, maybe you've been to some really rad weddings or you've read through a bunch of scripts online and you've got tons of great ideas but don't know how to put it together. Working with a celebrant can help you to gather all of those loose pieces into a cohesive ceremony, filled with meaningful moments that flow seamlessly from start to finish. One of the great things about non-traditional weddings is that there are so many ways to make them your own. Maybe you want to nod to Celtic or Pagan roots and include a handfasting ceremony or a loving cup ritual, where you share a drink from a two handled cup, called a quaich (from the Scottish Gaelic word ‘cuach’, meaning ‘cup’). Maybe you'd like to involve your loved ones by including a ring warming or wishing stone ritual or a garden of blessings, inviting your guests to share their hopes and wishes for your marriage as a silent offering or a shower of loving words. Or maybe you just want a warm, heartfelt script that reflects something meaningful about the love you share and the commitments you're making. No matter what you're looking for, it's my job as a celebrant to bring your vision to life.

A magical forest handfasting ceremony - Photo Credit @sheenadaviesphotography

Just to give you an idea of what's possible, let me tell you about my one of my favourite weddings - which also happened to be my very first! This couple wanted a bit of everything - the bride was from Iran and we included Persian wedding traditions like "playing hard to get"; the sofre aghd; a tanooreh, or canopy, ceremony; and sweetening of the marriage with a taste of honey. The couple also loved Disney and Lego, so the groom's processional was a dance to the song Prince Ali from Aladdin and the groom and groomsmen all wore Lego boutonnieres. By far the coolest part of the ceremony though was the presentation of the rings - flown in to the bride's sister by a falcon (yes, an actual falcon!) as she read a poem about love by the Persian mystic Rumi. And all of this was under the stunning backdrop of world famous Hatley Castle, one of the most spectacular wedding venues in Victoria, BC. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I loved creating this custom micro-handfasting in Jordan River, BC, with just the couple and their photographer and videographer as witnesses. We built the ceremony around the theme of family and they used a piece of the groom's family tartan for the handfasting cord. When the waves at the beach where they'd planned on holding the ceremony were too loud for the video recording, we hiked until we found the perfect quiet spot in a forest glade for them to share their vows. Whether you're planning a tiny elopement away from it all or a big celebration with all of your special people, there are so many ways to create a just right, non-traditional wedding ceremony. In the end, it's your day and your wedding ceremony should be all about you as a couple. As a celebrant, it's my job to make that happen! If you're interested in learning more or think you might like some help bringing your vision to life, you can reach out to inquire or schedule a consultation.